Helicopters and Parenting 375

When I heard the term “Helicopter Parenting” in the second section of Tapscott’s book, I cringed. Tapscott talks about parent-child connection of the Net Generation. I hope these parents are in small numbers! As described: A parent who hovers over his or her kids and intervenes with teacher and employers, according to Tapscott. The parents, from the time the child’s young, track their children’s progress, test scores, homework, and attendance. This part I can agree with. Accountability wise, schools do poorly with attendance with the so called “Becca” bill, leaving kids falling into the abyss. The law is useless as for the most part in never enforced. I have not heard of any parent on the 6:00pm news in hand cuffs for being in violation. Back to helicopters, parents of these Net kids need to let go a little. Overzealous parents can potentially limit their kid’s ability to make decisions on their own. I am to presume these parents will always be there when something needs to be attended to? I think I am taking this too personal... (Ooops!) Family involvement is one thing but going to your kid’s interview? Arranging for interviews? Negotiating salaries? I am a firm believer in preparing kids for life but letting them jump off the board sometimes is a good thing. I have helped raise two nephews at different formative ages. The most important thing I learned was teach them how and let them try…Often I stood not so far away but I did not intervene. If they fall, help them up, let them go and try again...It’s a rite of passage for youth to learn how to be adults. There is an extreme to my argument as well. I worked for Vision Quest in the Arizona desert. It was based on the Native American rite of passage (Don't try this at home). The boys released to the custody of the program, would have to climb a thirty foot telephone pole. They wore safety harnesses of course. They had to stand, feet together, arms out, and jump (leap of faith junk) towards a rope out a great distance. If they failed, back up the pole again. If they succeeded, they were a man. I watched as this gangbanging kid (about 13), who was tougher than hell; cry uncontrollably as he was so afraid. He could not become a man that day or any other. He ran away the next day and they chased him down with horses and brought him back...Punishment was meted out by his peers. The point is there should be a central point on this continuum from extreme helicopter parents to making a kid jump off a pole to prove he is a man. Controlling or making them conform to black and white thinking is ludicrous. Tapscott has good points on collaboration with family and the security it provides, but there is a limit to parents living by-proxy through their children. I think it is a big issue today…